Showing is illustrated through actions and interiority rather than the author telling us how the character is reacting and behaving. Here are five danger zones to watch out for. 1. Action : Don't tell us what a character does; describe what constitutes the action. Telling : Dick worked hard. Showing : Dick wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve. He lifted the axe and swung: thunk, swipe, thunk. The chunk of wood sheared into small pieces. Each blow reverberated through his shoulders and back. Telling : Jane walked quickly through the aisles, tossing in items without looking at them. Showing : Jane strode down the aisles, grabbing boxes of cereal and crackers and cans of soup, reaching for familiar colors and logos, more concerned about getting back to the case than her menu plans for the week. 2. Emotions: Show the emotion, don't name it. Telling : Jane felt sad. Showing : Jane sat at her desk, staring at the coffee ring on the scarred ...

This post was first published her on May 18, 2011. When I began writing, my crit partners would often return my pages with passages labeled "R.U.E." Anyone who's undertaken writing has heard "Show, Don’t Tell"—probably more times than they've wanted. This isn't a hard and fast rule, because often telling is more efficient than showing, and done well, gets the point across. But too much telling, especially when it comes across as author intrusion, can put the brakes on the pace of your story, doing exactly the opposite of what the author intended. For example, "Mary laughed so hard, she was afraid she'd pulled a stomach muscle. Susie had just told the funniest joke Mary had ever heard."   The second sentence isn't needed; it's explaining something the reader would be able to figure out in context. The goal of any fiction writer is to get readers to care about the characters. We want there to be an emotional connection, so we...

I remember 3D movies from decades past and the 3D comic books my brothers and I used to read. Both required us to wear special “glasses” that allowed the images to appear to rise from the page or leap off the silver screen. While the pictures fascinated me, the glasses proved to be more of a nuisance than I wanted to deal with. Some new 3D movies have reached the theaters, but I know nothing of the technology or whether they also require special glasses to get the desired visual effect. But because we live in a 3D world, the concept makes sense and has a certain appeal. Written words on the pages of a book, however, are not 3D, so how can this apply to writing? Let’s consider two examples. Example #1: Lisa looked up at the azure summer sky, and the bright noonday sun made her squint. Cotton candy clouds dotted the horizon. Birds sang on the power lines at the back of the property, and squirrels chased one another up and down the tree trunks. She let her chilly body soak up the wa...

Author and Editor Jodie Renner shares some fresh advice on the mantra that most writers have heard at least once in their writing career -- "Show Don't Tell. "  A common mistake among aspiring fiction writers is to describe or narrate (tell) events as if they took place at some point in the past, instead of putting the reader right in the middle of the action and showing the events as they occur, in real time, along with the characters’ reactions, feelings, and actual words. Readers want to experience a character's fear, feel the sweat on his brow and his adrenaline racing, their pulse quickening right along with the character's,  muscles tensed, ready to leap into action. Think of the difference between showing and telling this way: Which would you rather do, go see a great movie in a theatre with a big screen and surround sound, or hear about the movie from someone else afterward? According to Ingermanson and Economy, “Showing means presenting the story t...

When you hear the old adage, “ show, don’t tell ,” how would you break down the “showing” versus the “telling”? Many would break “showing” down into elements that create the sense that a reader is living out a scene moment by moment—namely dialogue, evocative setting, action, and suspense. “Telling,” one might conclude, is the point of exposition, those sections where the narrator communicates directly to the reader by summarizing events and character traits. If you accept these generalized definitions you will miss out on opportunities to “show” through exposition. Dennis Lehane does just that in his literary mystery, Mystic River . This passage is excerpted from a spontaneous block party that erupts after the return of 11-year-old Jimmy Marcus’s kidnapped friend, Dave Boyle. Jimmy doesn’t yet know what happened to Dave, but sees that he is surrounded by police and well wishers that include their fifth grade teacher, Miss Powell. When Miss Powell kisses Dave twice on the cheek Jimmy ...

Most writers seem to get the broad concept of show don't tell. They know about creating scenes and keeping the reader grounded  in the scene. But some writers still do not get the difference between telling a reader what is going on in a scene and showing them. Consider: The party was in full swing Vs Heavy metal music bounced from wall to wall. People strained to talk above the pounding noise, or simply gave up and joined those dancing…… Some writers also don't seem to get the little "tells" in a manuscript that can weaken an otherwise decent book. The pizza smelled so good I felt my mouth water. Vs The sweet aroma of tomato and basil riding the steam from the top of the pizza made me touch the side of my face to make sure the drool was not running out of my mouth. Okay, I'll admit, that example could use some professional help, but I think you get what I am suggesting. I felt myself blush Vs The heat of a blush crawled up my neck. He looked al...

Immediately inside the door she saw a red carpet. At the end of the carpet sat a gray cat, licking a paw. A clock pendulum ticked and tocked on a nearby table. Classic Stickley, judging by the table’s bold, clean lines. Beside the table an orange shawl had been tossed over the arm of a leather chair. Two feet to the left of that… Okay, I’ll spare you. If you’ve done any amount of reading in your life you’ll recognize in the above description a wall of words that many readers will choose not to scale. Or perhaps you won’t recognize the wall at all, because as a reader you’ve always skirted around it. In her September 18, 2009 Blood-Red Pencil post, our own Maryann Miller cautioned us to keep such laundry lists pocketed when our characters first enter a room. But now you’re a writer, not a reader. You are eager to get on with the good stuff! And it’s just so tempting, isn’t it? Put your character in the room, show her glancing around at this, that and the other thing in an active vo...

I'm easily distracted, I must admit. Last Sunday, during the church service, my mind wandered. I happened to notice a cute child, maybe two or three years old, about ten pews ahead of me. I watched one of the regulars a few pews down from her smile at the child. The child shyly put her head down. At times, when I walk down the street with my dog, Rascal, sometimes a passerby will smile at her. Rascal picks up the friendly vibes and wags her tail. Other times, when I'm walking to the train station in the morning, a driver, instead of stopping at the stop sign, will roll through to prevent me from crossing. What do these little things have to do with writing? Simple. Instead of telling the reader your character is nice or impatient, show it by using such small actions. Or, mix the character up a little, so that person is not all mean or all nice. Readers like to think back to little clues, so don't forget to offer them. Can you think of other ways to show a person's chara...