Slim Randles is back again this month with an update on how Dud is doing with his book - or not doing. Dud seems to be having trouble with his protagonists and antagonists, and keeping them straight. Maybe he needs to subscribe to this blog for some help. Poor guy has been slaving away for too long on one book. Dud rounded the corner on his block and headed for the edge of town at an easy jog. Well, easy for an Olympic miler, he thought. It was making him breathe hard and he wasn’t even a block from the house. But this is the price. Oh yes, the price I must pay for my goal, as Doc had reminded him a few weeks ago. “Dud,” said Doc, “I worry about you spending so much time agonizing over that book of yours.” “I have to do it, Doc,” Dud said. “There are still so many things to plan in the book. Things like the duchess’s daughter and her relationship with the truck driver on special assignment …” “I know that, Dudley,” Doc said, giving Dud a friendly arm squeeze, “but what you ...

Back in April we found out from humorist Slim Randles that Dud had pretty much given up on writing his book and had taken up playing accordion. Much to the relief of his friends and his dear wife, Anita, Dud is once more squeezing words out of his computer and the accordion is resting. Here is Slim to tell us all about it... Dud looked at his Anita across the kitchen table and smiled at the wonderment of her. She didn’t take him for granted, and he didn’t take her for granted, either. Seemed like a nice way for a man and his wife to be in love. But how was he going to translate this? This has been the problem for several years now with the book. Dud shook his head slowly. Anyone who thinks writing a novel is easy should spend an hour inside my head first. It’s been several years since he began writing “Murder in the Soggy Bottoms,” the book that the rest of Dud’s people referred to as “The Duchess and the Truck Driver.” “What’s the matter, Hon?” “Oh … nothing. Just thinking ...

On this dreary, gray day in my neck of the woods, I thought it would be good to cheer myself up. I miss the sun. I need the sun. And when I don't get enough sun, everything that goes wrong is magnified. Ever feel that way? Of course you have. The business of writing is sometimes wrought with frustration, and adding any stressers like daylight saving time and no sun, makes for screaming fits and hair pulling.  So let us take a moment for a deep breath. Here we go... slowly in, hold it, and let it out. Repeat ten times. There much better. Now for a chuckle or two. Enjoy.... This first cartoon is from Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie Macnelly. Cosmo is digging through the usual mess on his desk - can we relate or what?   - and finds a ticket for a shoe repair shop. "Geez! The date on it is October 9, 1982. I wonder if ol' man Swettsock is still around?"  So Cosmo goes out and sure enough, the shoe repair shop is still there. He goes in and hands the ticke...

We're starting a new year and looking for new opportunities for fun. Between the Yoga links from Dani, and the humor from Elspeth , as well as my humble offerings, we are doing our part here at The Blood-Red Pencil to help you stay healthy and relieve stress. When I read the following from humor writer, Slim Randles, I couldn't help but think of those few writers who have a penchant for using such big words we have to read with the book in one hand and a dictionary in the other. I really don't think that is the way to win over readers. Just saying... “I can’t stand winter,” said Herb Collins, who had dropped in at the Mule Barn’s philosophy counter for a quick cup. “There’s nothing to do.” "Get out and enjoy it,” suggested Doc. “Go skiing. Go ice fishing. Build a snowman. Do something. Then you’ll feel better.”  “I don’t think your advice will take,” said Dud. “Herb seems to be intransigent on this one.” We all looked at Dud. “You see, he said he couldn’t s...

I'm writing this post while enjoying the Fall colors in the North Woods of Wisconsin. I brought my laptop computer with me for writing blog posts, and hopefully making headway on my work in progress, but haven't used the laptop as much for social networking. At home, I head to the desktop computer for almost all online communication and book creation. Away from home, I click on my Samsung Galaxy S4 to check e-mails, upload pics to places like Facebook, and use Google to answer burning questions. I was tempted to get an iPhone 6 Plus when my current plan expires, but what stops me is its camera hasn't caught up to the one I have on my present phone. I also own an 8.9" Kindle Fire, but hardly use it. It's heavier than I like as a tablet, and doesn't have as many capabilities as a laptop. It did come in handy, though, when the power went out in the house about a month ago, and I was able to read in the dark. Also, it does have great speakers for listeni...

Not long ago, I was sitting at my computer on a perfectly still summer morning when I heard a strange buzz. Morgan Mandel and Rascal Suddenly, the computer, the lights, and all the electricity shut down. My first reaction was to check whether our house was the only one off the grid. I opened the front door, stepped out, and saw a number of my neighbors already outside. One asked if she was the only one without power. That gave me my answer. I called the electric company, only to learn the problem was being investigated. Feeling curious, I decided to take my dog for her second walk of the day, this time around the neighborhood. Maybe I could discover the cause of the outage.  Rascal and I headed across the street and up the block, where one of her doggie friends happened to be in her fenced yard. As the dogs greeted each other, I spoke to the owner, who said she'd heard the culprit was a tree on a power line. I wondered if she was correct.  I spo...

If you are a writer on Faceboook, you’ve had the opportunity to take a plethora of quizzes. Which Disney princess are you? What is your prostitute name? Which U.S. state should you really be from? Amusing? Perhaps. Creative time-wasters? Down to the last one. Here’s a quiz, however, that will actually help you with your writing. It was constructed by Dr. Katherine Ramsland , author of more than fifty books ranging from vampires to serial killers to creativity, and who holds graduate degrees in forensic psychology, clinical psychology, criminal justice, and philosophy. Published on her popular "Shadow Boxing" blog at Psychology Today , the quiz assesses your “OQ,” or observational quotient, and places you on a scale of inward to outward focus. Knowing which you gravitate toward helps you identify your natural strengths as a writer, and allows you to see where you should probably focus revision efforts. Ramsland writes: The ability to observe one’s surroundings, in...

Dreamstime Stock Photos © Judy Ben Joud Yesterday, while walking my dog, Rascal, the crows seemed to be in a frenzy, hopping around, squawking their heads off. Hearing their raucous chatter reminded me of how I'm just the opposite. Unless I know a person very well, it's hard for me to open up and talk. I've heard other authors are also like me, semi-recluses, more relaxed sitting at their computers than in the company of live people. When it comes to sharing any of my accomplishments, I'm more comfortable doing so online. Still, it doesn't come easy. I go through the motions, but am not exactly thrilled about expanding on what I've done. I much prefer bragging about someone else. Since I suspect I'm not the only one out there who hates to crow, I'll make it easy for you. I invite each person who reads this blog to crow about one thing you've accomplished. If you're not a writer, you can always mention something else, like getting a...

Identifying facts about the subject of this case study have been changed to protect the author's reputation.  I recently found myself stranded for four days with only one great story and one poorly edited novel at my disposal. Unfortunately both were found within the same covers. The fact that its issues were easily fixable, yet still evident in a book already published, is such a crying shame I want us all to learn from this case study. It was exactly my kind of story, the back cover copy suggested. Great title, lush cover. A hardback, with a price of $25.99, put out by a major traditional publisher, by an acquiring editor whose name is known and trusted in the industry. I opened it with great anticipation. Problems emerged on page one. Unfortunate word pairings At the end of the first paragraph, the author used a phrase such as “ran like a hare” immediately followed by an introduction to “Tad O’Hara.” Like most of the following issues, this is a remnant of the wri...

I share a certain trait with the character of Angela in my debut, The Art of Falling —a propensity for celebration. Maybe you caught on to that when I announced my book deal here a year-and-a-half ago.  The countdown to its publication is now complete, and I recently celebrated with more than a hundred writing friends at my hometown launch at the Doylestown (PA) Bookshop, and at an after-party at the historic, newly renovated Doylestown Inn. Like that first joyous entry, I’m going to let pictures tell the bulk of the story, while tying in some of the topics I’ve visited in this series. Some of my Wegman's writing group While writing is a solo sport, in my first post I suggested that you join hands  with other writers. Here I am pictured with several of the writing friends I meet with once a week at a local grocery store, laptops side by side, all of us working on our various projects. Because we should spend all our time writing, shouldn’t we? Not fritter away tim...

2013 was a pretty good year. I learned quite a lot. I'm looking forward to 2014. Here are five of the things I've learned. # 1: I can't go to a shoe store and buy shoes for my son. Long ago, I gave up on finding shoes for my son in a shoe store. About a month ago, I ordered two pairs of shoes for him online. And ended up sending both back. Today I made him sit down at my computer and decide which shoe on the list he wanted. You might be wondering why I didn't just take him to a shoe store and let him try on shoes. Having him try on shoes is pert near impossible. He wears a size 15, narrow. Ever come across a selection of size 15s in your local shoe store? I haven't. #2: If you're tall, people assume you're big. Yeah, I'm talking about my son again. He's tall, but not big. He is, in fact, quite slim. If I find jeans that fit his height, they're too big in the waist. Most of his jeans are 32X38. That doesn't sound too big. Exce...

The beginning of the year is traditionally a time for taking stock and resolving to do better in the months ahead. As authors, we face particular challenges. Here is a partial list, which is particular to my own needs. Perhaps, it will be of benefit to you in discovering what to continue or improve. Tools of the trade - Though some authors still write manuscripts in longhand, I would be lost without a computer. My desktop computer is about five years old, with a Windows XP operating system. XP will no longer be supported by Microsoft in April, 2014, which means no more updates. That will leave XPs more vulnerable to viruses. Other strikes are: XPs were not designed for multi-tasking, and my present computer cannot be expanded past its 4G of RAM. To be prepared, I broke down and ordered a Windows 8 computer with 12G of RAM. No Excuses - After the new computer is set up, which hopefully will happen within at least two weeks of its arrival, I will have no excuse to dilly dally...

A friend of mine sent me a Word Play list three years ago. While searching for something else, I came across it in my computer and thought I'd share it. Whether you're a writer, reader, or editor (or all three), enjoy this Play on Words. The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational one year invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: • Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a-hole. • Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. • Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the n...