To deepen your characters, enrich your story, and engage your readers more deeply, be sure to show your characters’ internal and external reactions to everything that’s happening to them and around them. Start with their visceral reaction. That’s the involuntary physical reaction we have no control over, that just happens despite all our best efforts to suppress it or hide it. These reactions occur immediately, before any thought processes or deliberate actions, so it’s important to show your character’s visceral reaction first, to mirror reality and put your readers inside the character’s skin, feeling the fear or embarrassment or shock or anger right along with them. Next, show an immediate thought-reaction, like Ow, or Oh no, or Damn, or Omigod, or That can’t be. Note that these sudden, short thought-reactions are usually italicized, both for emphasis and immediacy, and to indicate a direct thought. See my related blog post here on BRP, “Expressing Thought-Reactions in Fiction...

What’s in a Name? Naming Your Characters Have you ever read a book where the name of the main character was jarring to you, seemed inappropriate, or just wrong? Or have you mixed up two characters because their names were similar? Or said “Who’s that?” because suddenly the author started using a character’s nickname or first name, when previously all you knew was their last name? What you choose to name your characters can be the difference between annoying/confusing your readers and having the story flow naturally, with all the little details falling into place to make a seamless, believable story world. A few years ago, I did a critique of a novel in which the cruel, abusive father was named “Danny” and his eight-year-old abused son was named “John.” I definitely thought “Danny” sounded much more like a nice kid than a nasty adult, and why not give the young boy a more kid-like name, like “Johnny”? Switching the two would have worked fine, too. Here are some tips for naming your char...

As a full-time freelance manuscript editor, I do all of my editing on-screen and online, using Microsoft Word Track Changes, so I’m sitting at the computer all day, editing and sending and receiving documents, with comments, by email. I have a PC, a laptop, and, for the past year, a smaller Netbook. I like to travel, so use the laptop or Netbook when I’m away. For the last year, I’ve been taking my Netbook for plane trips, as it’s light and compact for my carry-on, and small enough to fit on the airplane’s flip-down tray, with room for my cordless mouse and a cup of coffee or tea. But I notice when I’ve been using this smaller notebook-type computer for hours that my shoulders, back and arms become tense from hunching over, my fingers ache from the small keyboard, and my eyes get sore from squinting at the small screen. Retail $39.99 When I’m at home, I stay away from my laptop or Netbook and stick with my large-screen monitor, my curved ergonomic keyboard with padding at the fr...

I’ve been editing fiction for years, and the most difficult concept for many of my author clients is to portray their story world mainly through the point of view of the main character(s), rather than hovering above them, and to stick to one point of view per scene or chapter instead of jumping back and forth from one character’s viewpoint to another’s (head-hopping). Point of view (or POV) simply refers to the character through whose perspective the story events are told. We see, hear, smell, feel, and experience events as that character would – with no additional information provided “from above” by the author. This helps your readers identify with the viewpoint character and get immersed in their world. A hundred years ago, novels were often told from a distant authorial point of view, hovering over everything. That omniscient point of view is no longer popular today, and for good reason. Readers want to experience the events of the story vicariously through the viewpoint charac...

No, I’m not talking about the fashion police coming after you. I’m talking about those little errors and bad habits that creep into your manuscript, weaken your message, and add up to an overall feeling of amateurish writing. The good news is that, unlike the more critical creative flow of ideas for plot and characters, these little bad habits are easy to correct, resulting in a more polished, compelling manuscript. 1. Take out wishy-washy qualifiers such as quite, sort of, almost, kind of, a bit, pretty, somewhat, rather, usually, basically, generally, probably, mostly, really. Forget “He was quite brave,” or “She was pretty intelligent” or “It was almost scary.” These qualifiers dilute your message, reduce the impact, and make the imagery weaker. Take them out. Even very is to be avoided. It’s like you’re saying the word after it needs reinforcing. “She was beautiful” packs more punch than “She was very beautiful.” 2. Show us, don’t tell us how your characters are feeling. Avoid st...

Author and Editor Jodie Renner shares some fresh advice on the mantra that most writers have heard at least once in their writing career -- "Show Don't Tell. "  A common mistake among aspiring fiction writers is to describe or narrate (tell) events as if they took place at some point in the past, instead of putting the reader right in the middle of the action and showing the events as they occur, in real time, along with the characters’ reactions, feelings, and actual words. Readers want to experience a character's fear, feel the sweat on his brow and his adrenaline racing, their pulse quickening right along with the character's,  muscles tensed, ready to leap into action. Think of the difference between showing and telling this way: Which would you rather do, go see a great movie in a theatre with a big screen and surround sound, or hear about the movie from someone else afterward? According to Ingermanson and Economy, “Showing means presenting the story t...

Dialogue is one of the first things agents and editors look at when they receive a manuscript for consideration. If the dialogue is wooden, stilted, and artificial, agents will assume that the rest of the writing is amateurish, and the manuscript will be quickly rejected. Here are some concrete ways to make your dialogue more compelling.   A . Dialogue needs tension, conflict and emotion. This one is huge. As Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy say in Writing Fiction for Dummies , “Dialogue is war! Every dialogue should be a controlled conflict between at least two characters with opposing agendas. The main purpose of dialogue is to advance the conflict of the story.” 1 . Leave out the “Hi, how are you?” “I’m fine, and you?” stuff, and cut to the chase. Skip past introductions and all that empty blah-blah small talk. 2 . Avoid   long monologues or dialogues that just impart   information, with no tension or emotion. 3 . Don’t use dialogue as filler – if it doesn’t adva...

“The first thing that makes a reader read a book is the characters.” – John Gardner Your novel can have a great premise and riveting plot, but if your characters are weak, boring, or undeveloped, your book will be quickly rejected by agents and acquisition editors. As Elizabeth Lyon points out, “Characterization is the bedrock of fiction and the reason most people read it. What endures in our hearts and minds over time is the heroes, heroines, and villains. Less often do we recall their plots. ” (A Writer’s Guide to Fiction) Unpublished authors very often have written a good story, but have neglected to develop their characters sufficiently. Your protagonist needs to be likable, charismatic, and complex enough to be interesting. He needs emotional depth and a few flaws and insecurities. And he needs to be able to draw on inner strengths and resources to take on adversity and overcome odds. If your character is annoying, boring, too perfect, or a wimp, you’re dead in the water. And ...

Gone are the days when fiction readers were willing to read pages of description and lead-up before being introduced to the characters and the plot. Readers, agents, and publishers today don’t have the time or patience to wade through pages of backstory and description, so you need to grab their interest right from the first sentence and first paragraph of your story. As James Scott Bell says in Revision and Self-Editing , about the opening paragraphs, “Give us a character in motion. Something happening to a person from line one. Make that a disturbing thing, or have it presage something disturbing.” Here are twelve dos and don’ts for making the first page of your novel more compelling: 1. Don't begin with a long description of the setting or with background information on your main character. Do begin with dialogue and action; then add any necessary backstory or description in small doses, on a need-to-know basis as you progress through the story. 2. Don't start with a...