Monday, November 30, 2020

It's been a baaa-d year

Time to wind down this awful year. Hopefully 2021 will treat us all a little better. Here at The Blood-Red Pencil, we thought we would try and lighten things up a bit for the last month of the year, and showcase the best of our humorous posts.

Elspeth's Writing Sheep


Elspeth Futcher kept us all entertained for many years with her wonderful sense of humour. We featured Elspeth's writing sheep and top posts in 2019's December re-run (see this post for a bind-up of all her writing sheep entries), so today we're highlighting another of her funnies that didn't make the cut last year.

Amazon Dangers


Amazon River image by Jon Rawlinson, via Flickr

Amazon-the-mega-bookstore and The Amazon (the river) have more in common than you might think, including the:

"Anaconda - the world’s largest and heaviest snake. Can grow as long as 30 feet eating up to 30 pounds of prey a day. On Amazon, the Anaconda would be the newest release by John Grisham or Stephen King."

and the:

"Jaguar - a solitary killer that climbs trees as a vantage point when hunting prey prior to pouncing on their target. On Amazon, the jaguar is the person who hunts new successful authors and gives them one star reviews."

Read all of this post here.


Elspeth Futcher is a bestselling author of murder mystery games and playwright. She has been the top selling author at since 2011. Her British games are published by Red Herring Games in the UK. Her latest game is "Which Guide Lied?" Elspeth's 'writing sheep' are a continuing feature in the European writers' magazine Elias and also appear on this blog from time to time. Connect with her on Twitter at @elspethwrites or on Facebook at Elspeth Futcher, Author.


  1. Elspeth, I've missed the writing sheep. Would love for them to stop by BRP from time to time. :-)

  2. I, too, miss the writing sheep. It would be great to have them wander through our pastures now and then.


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