Good morning dear readers. It is now time to lighten our mental load, and sharing a few jokes is almost as good as Yoga for a stress reliever. Notice I qualified that. Practicing Yoga and deep breathing are probably the best way to relieve stress, but laughter does run a close second. If you'd like to know just how good laughter can be for your health, check out this article: Laughter is the Best Medicine. When I read Merry Farmer's post Monday about the review trolls, I was reminded of how much stress the writers' life has.
I don't know about you, but Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, so I thought I'd start with a few ghostly jokes that I found on the Halloween.com site.
Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
When I saw this cartoon in the newspaper a couple of weeks ago, I had to save it to share here. It is from Bizarro by Dan Piraro, who has a very unique view of life, to which I can relate. Dan does single panel cartoons, and this one shows two cave women standing by the wall of a cave. Two other women stand outside the cave talking, and a man is hunched over a fire eating some meat he has skewered and roasted. One of the women inside says to the other, "I don't get it. We've had language for a few hundred years now. What's taking the men so long?"
This flashback cartoon from Doonesbury may resonate with some writers. Joanie Caucus is sitting at the table in the kitchen reading a book when her son, Jeff, walks in and says, "Anyway, I got kicked out of Zip's dorm, so I think I'll move back upstairs."
Joanie says, "Well, think again."
"What?"
"Your old bedroom is now a study. If you want to come home, you'll have to stay in the basement. Rent is $500. We would also require you to get up and write every morning for four hours like real writers do. You will meet your contractual obligations.
"In the afternoon, you'll have to shop and clean and do laundry. Those are my terms. Your life as a reality intern is over. Any questions?"
They have a moment of a stare down, then Jeff says, "Cold, Mom. Hip replacement has changed you."
To which she replies, "Your rent just went up. Anything else?"
Let's wrap it up today with a couple of quotes:
"If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers." - Irvin S. Cobb
"If Moses were alive today he'd come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published." - Anonymous
So dear readers, do you have a favorite from these? Do you have a new one to share? Don't be shy. Go ahead.
I don't know about you, but Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, so I thought I'd start with a few ghostly jokes that I found on the Halloween.com site.
Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Image courtesy of Bear Tales.me where there are more Halloween jokes. |
This flashback cartoon from Doonesbury may resonate with some writers. Joanie Caucus is sitting at the table in the kitchen reading a book when her son, Jeff, walks in and says, "Anyway, I got kicked out of Zip's dorm, so I think I'll move back upstairs."
Joanie says, "Well, think again."
"What?"
"Your old bedroom is now a study. If you want to come home, you'll have to stay in the basement. Rent is $500. We would also require you to get up and write every morning for four hours like real writers do. You will meet your contractual obligations.
"In the afternoon, you'll have to shop and clean and do laundry. Those are my terms. Your life as a reality intern is over. Any questions?"
They have a moment of a stare down, then Jeff says, "Cold, Mom. Hip replacement has changed you."
To which she replies, "Your rent just went up. Anything else?"
Let's wrap it up today with a couple of quotes:
"If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers." - Irvin S. Cobb
"If Moses were alive today he'd come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published." - Anonymous
So dear readers, do you have a favorite from these? Do you have a new one to share? Don't be shy. Go ahead.
Posted by Maryann Miller - novelist, screenwriter, editor and sometimes actress. Her most recent mysteries are Doubletake and Boxes For Beds, both available for Kindle and in paper. Stalking Season is the second book in the Seasons Mystery Series, hardback and digital, along with Open Season, the first book in the series. For her editing rates, visit her website. When not working, Maryann likes to take her dog for a walk and work outside on her little ranch in East Texas. |
I don't know about you, but somehow I think 5 years for Moses to get the 10 Comandments published is optimistic. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLOL. You're right, although Christian fiction is popular right now.
DeleteI like the Doonesbury comic. Reality intern. I'm gonna use that. LOL. Moses wrote the "Egyptian Husia" for Dummies, narrowing hundreds of I shall nots down to ten. Savvy marketer!
ReplyDeleteGood analysis of Moses. I like that.
DeleteGo ahead, laugh it up, Maryann ... no seriously, laugh it up.
ReplyDeleteOkay, your comment made me laugh harder than all the jokes.
DeleteThanks!!!!
DeleteYou always seem to brighten my day when the stresses get overwhelming...impeccable timing, Maryann. Thank you. :-)
ReplyDelete