SHEEP #1: Ahem.
Silence.
SHEEP #1: Ahem.
Silence.
SHEEP #1: Are you there?
WRITER: Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.
SHEEP #1: I can’t say that doesn’t hurt.
SHEEP #2: But you just did.
SHEEP #1: Don’t be so literal.
WRITER: Let’s not go there. I’m paying attention now.
SHEEP #1: You made me ‘ahem.’
WRITER: Sorry.
SHEEP #1: Twice.
WRITER: I’m sorry.
SHEEP #1: And that’s it? No groveling? No present? No insincere promises that you’ll try harder?
WRITER: Hey, I don’t make insincere promises.
SHEEP #2: Should I remind you of the 2,500 word a day promise?
WRITER: No.
SHEEP #1: How about the ‘I’ll have this manuscript ready for beta readers by Christmas’ promise?
WRITER: (cringing) Stop.
SHEEP #2: You are the Queen of insincere promises.
WRITER: But it’s spring. Aren’t I allowed a touch of spring fever?
SHEEP #1: You’ve had it.
WRITER: When?
SHEEP #1: The ‘ahem’ debacle.
WRITER: That was a debacle?
SHEEP #1: See? You were involved in a debacle and you weren’t aware of it. You could have taken notes.
SHEEP #2: Pay attention.
WRITER: Yes, ma’am.
SHEEP #1: And stop the insincere promises. If you value your writing, give it the respect it deserves.
SHEEP #2: Because, from where we're standing, your behaviour indicates you don't value your writing at all.
SHEEP #1: You ignore it. Do people ignore things they value?
WRITER: No. I'll do better. I promise.
SHEEP #2: Because, from where we're standing, your behaviour indicates you don't value your writing at all.
SHEEP #1: You ignore it. Do people ignore things they value?
WRITER: No. I'll do better. I promise.
SHEEP #1: Ahem.
 |
| Elspeth Futcher is a bestselling author of murder mystery games and playwright. She has been the top selling author at host-party.com since 2011. Her British games are published by Red Herring Games in the UK. Her latest game is The Great British Bump Off. Elspeth's 'writing sheep' are a continuing feature in the European writers' magazine Elias and also appear on this blog from time to time. Connect with her on Twitter at @elspethwrites or on Facebook at Elspeth Futcher, Author. |
Thanks Elspeth, you made me smile. And, now, I'm going back to do some writing. Promise!
ReplyDeleteA smile! Success.
DeleteHa! Which is why I never promise more than 100 words a day. Easy to keep. Usually. Um... Yeah, about that...
ReplyDeleteThe sheep know. They judge. Beware the Wrath of the Sheep.
DeleteNag, nag, nag. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's the sheep's way. It's either that or baaanter.
DeleteGee, Elspeth ... all those sheep would have me thinking more about mutton stew than writing.
ReplyDeleteNow you've frightened them.
DeleteWow! I'm still giggling. Fascinating, isn't it, that truths clothed in humor are more palatable than those that slap us in the face? They're also more likely to be acted upon. :-)
ReplyDeleteI try. Glad you liked it, Linda. I love writing my writing sheep.
DeleteLove this, Elspeth! We should all have our sheep to remind us to write!
ReplyDeleteWe all need reminders now and then, don't we?
DeleteElspeth - Oh, I have so much missed your sheep! Such wonderful guardians of our writing. You're fortunate to have them. Even if they don't do very well when they have to 'Ahem.' Now, time for me to not ignore my writing...
ReplyDeleteI *am* fortunate, aren't I? I've thought of gathering all their wisdom together and self-publishing it. What do you think? Email me.
DeleteAnd thanks for taking the time to comment, Margot. I truly appreciate it.
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ReplyDeleteI could do this writing business, if everything else didn't get in the way, like all the things a writer has to do to get noticed, and which has nothing to do with getting any writing done.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Polly. It is a writing *business*, isn't it?
DeleteLove the sheep, Elspeth!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pat!
DeleteI SO needed this!!
ReplyDelete:-)
Delete