Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A Little Bit of Humor

Let me just set one thing straight right here and now -- I am NOT a blogger. I am a writer who chooses to publish little stories using a program used by bloggers. But that does NOT make me a blogger.

I am NOT a blogger!

A "blogger" is a person who writes about how they feel, what they think, how they perceive the world, how they think others perceive how they perceive the world, and a fair amount of angst-filled paragraphs that other bloggers read, make comments about, and then link to, Tweet about, Digg up, and so on and so on, using a blogging "platform" because that's a whole lot easier to do than to create a website from scratch using HTML.

I am not a blogger!

Bloggers enjoy sharing their inner-most feelings with total strangers; they describe the minutia of their every-day life as if the rest of us don't have our own minutia; they rant and rave about this subject and that subject; and then they ask how YOU feel about the matter, please leave a comment, and spread the word to all your friends and neighbors about my site because what I have to say is really worth it, and I love you!

I am not a blogger!

Blogs can also be websites put out by individuals or companies who want to inform you about what it is they are expert at, because they know you also want to be an expert about it, and if you follow this formula, or these 10 steps, or buy this product for just $39.95, then you'll be well on your way to producing the same results they do, and your life will be much fuller and complete, and when you die you'll die with the knowledge that you made something out of your life, and you weren't just another bum like your Uncle Isaac who sunk all his money into a new kind of engine oil that was supposed to "transform the industry," but instead transformed his banking account to negative numbers, and that's why he left Aunt Sally (because she was pissed, let me tell ya!), and went to Mexico with a pole dancer named Cinnamon who he met online.

I am not a blogger!

I am a writer. I write stories. Stories that serve no other purpose than to entertain. I have nothing to teach you, I have no 10 rules for gaining entrance to Valhala, and I have absolutely no desire to share the feelings that I'm feeling right now, because they're none of your business, and you'd gain nothing from learning that I had a really crappy day and if I have another one like it anytime soon, I'll lose my freakin' mind and have to do a fair amount of bodily damage to anyone standing in close proximity to my fists.

I am not a blogger!

But please pass this on to your friends and neighbors because I think they'll enjoy it -- especially since it's free!

Oh, and please leave a comment. Thank you!

Posted by Maryann Miller who is Tracy's biggest fan. He says I am his only fan, but that is not true. He has one or two others.

Maryann's Web site

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  1. I'm not a blogger too. But as a writer/author, I write to entertain, to such an extent that I sometimes fail to notice a conflict is needed to make a good story.

    Really Angelic

  2. I am 100% with you on this! I am a writer who blogs with a degree of regularity, but I would not call myself a blogger. As a writer, you have to decide where to spend your time. Blogging is fun, certainly, is a great distraction, and I admit to having learned lots via the blogosphere, but I am a writer first!

  3. Great humor piece. Of course you're not a blogger.... wink!...wink!

  4. I read Tracy religiously and I too am a follower.
    He makes me smile and sometimes laugh out loud and that's something I enjoy most in this crazy life.
    Giggles and Guns

  5. Cool post. Makes me wonder if I'm a blogger or not. I am certainly not an author, except I write science papers from time to time (started on a new one today). I write a lot of crap and post it on the web, like bloggers do. Maybe I should rather aim at being a real author some day.

    Will be interesting to see how many commenters will admit they're bloggers after reading your post ... >:)))

    Cold As Heaven

  6. I hate the word "blogger" !!!!
    Too funny:)

  7. I'm not a blogger either confound it!

  8. Too bad you're not a blogger because you're very good at it. (g)

    Morgan Mandel

  9. Perceptions, angst, feelings, raves, products. Ooops! I think I'm a blogger!

  10. Well I don't do angst and only a few rants, so maybe I'm not a blogger. Except I blog every day and I do encourage comments. So maybe I am a blogger. Apparently I'm just a split personality.

    Straight From Hel

  11. Me neither!
    (I mean I'm claiming not to be a blogger, although I might be if you look at my blog, and um read it, you might think I am.
    But I'm really not "A Little bit of Humor".
    I meant I'm not a blogger...very often; very much.)
    Thanks for listening, just about nobody reads my blog, or looks at my beautiful pictures, or says ANYTHING in my COMMENTS! but it's OK, because i realy just don't even care. I don't blog for that. I keep my emotions in check all the time and just don't EVEN care, anymore.
    Thank you.

  12. Comment, comment, OMG, comment comment comment!! Luv ur blog!

  13. I do not want to be a blogger or a tweeter either! I just want to share a story and I want to do it really well!

  14. And yet you managed to write 6 paragraphs on line! Humph!
    What's all that stuff about denial?
    It comes before the fall.
    It's what the road to hell is paved with.
    It's the first sign of senility.
    It's the 8th deadly sin.
    My word verification is 'ecodi'. Isn't that the first cousin of ecoli?

  15. I really am "Not a blogger". I really am a writer. I just don't have the time to fool around that's why I visit all the other people who are bloggers.

    But I'm not! As you said, how many people really want to know what you know, feel what you feel and why would you tell them in the first place.

    No joke! I'm not a blogger. I am a writer. Who seriously needs to get back to writing...good day!

  16. Thanks for stopping by folks. So glad you enjoyed this little humorous interlude in the midst of all our serious editing posts. LOL

  17. This is cool. There are 16 commenters so far, only two admitting they are possibly bloggers. The rest of us just take the benefits of blogging technology (thank you Google), but do not blog.

    Regarding myself; I'm not a smoker, but I enjoy a Cuban cigar from time to time >:)))

    Cold As Heaven

  18. Oh,my! All this time I've been thinking I was a writer - well, a writer wannabe - but, thanks to your uh, hmm, your er,'log of thoughts' that created great drama by explaining in a ranting, angst-ridden sort of way your beliefs on what makes you a writer has enlightened me to the fact that I am, yes indeed, I am a Blogger. Thanks for w-r-i-t-i-n-g such a humorous piece!


The Blood-Red Pencil is a blog focusing on editing and writing advice. Some of our contributors are editors, some are authors, and some are writing sheep. Yes, sheep.