Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?
Excuse me. Did I say that aloud? What I meant to say was: Rejection is good for building character.
If that's the case, then I've got more characters than Jim Carrey.
But, I will say this, and it's something you already know: If you let rejection get to you, if you give up because it hurts too much, if you lose faith in yourself and in your talent, then you won't succeed.
You can learn from rejection:
1) Figure out what you did wrong, and correct it.
2) Remember, the rejection is not of you personally.
3) Sometimes the problem is not with you or your writing; it's with the person doing the rejecting.
4) Every critique, every comment, whether it's from a reader, an agent, an editor, a contest judge, or a critic, is subjective.
5) If you labor over every rejection or negative comment, you'll make yourself crazy. Let it go and move on.
Pick yourself up off the floor, file away the rejection, and write some more. Okay, I'll let you have some private time to cry, or eat a half-gallon of ice cream, or take a nap, or call a friend -- but then you have to sit your behind back in your chair and write.
Remember, there is a recipe for getting published:
Half is talent.
Half is luck.
Half is meeting the right people, networking.
Half is rewriting and rewriting and rewriting.
Half is perseverance.
Yes, I know, that's too many halves. You've got all that character built up from being rejected. You've got more than enough halves to go around.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your analysis makes me want to jump off a bridge :(
ReplyDeleteI need Disney-like stories about easy it is to get published and become a huge success ;)
Aman, Helen. This is so spot on. And so what I needed to hear. I was not writing anything new because of some of these things. Thanks fort the reminders.
ReplyDeleteKaren
That made me feel a whole lot better! If I send my work off I won't be too disheartened if it is rejected, or at least I'll try not to be. After all we don't all like to read the same things..... My friend gave me a book to read recently. It is by Daneielle Steel, a very popular authoress. I have tried to read it because my friend loved it so and recommended it, but I really don't like it. I will probably have to give up on it and hope she doesn't want to discuss the story...! So, I suppose it would be with my writing, some will like it, some will not.
ReplyDeleteGood advice Helen, thank you.
Blessings, Star
I love all those halves. Nice way to silence my inner mathematician and stop me from trying to calculate probabilities.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the push to keep on going!
ReplyDeleteAll so true, Helen. When I was very young and vulnerable, a mean lady critiqued my work at a weekend workshop and left my ego and my confidence in a puddle on the floor. It was months before I wrote anything new, and years before I dared submit my work. Now my old crocodile skin serves me well. My favorite response? "Whatever."
ReplyDeleteIndeed why do we do it? Why? Because we cannot stop. Here's how I deal with rejection: I made a Rejection Box-to pay myself for rejections!
ReplyDeleteQuery Rejected? $5
Partial Rejected? $10
Full Rejected? $20
But now I believe I will add another category.
Contest Fail? $1 (cause I pay to enter them)
At the end of the year? A wonderful shopping spree for having TRIED and failed. The road to success is paved with stones of failure.
Woot!
I LOVE Christine's idea! I am going to start doing this ASAP.
ReplyDeleteGreat inspirational piece, Helen. I'll pick up my "halves" and get over the latest agent turn-down. I've started shying away from thinking in terms of rejection as that is so harsh. "Get out of my life your horrid piece of writing." A turn-down is so much easier to take. "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache." That means there is always hope for tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHelen,
ReplyDeleteI love your math—all those halves are important.
Lillie Ammann
A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Thanks for the pep talk! :)
ReplyDeleteChristine, I love your way of rewarding yourself for trying. Great idea.
ReplyDeleteEverything you said is so true. It is tough to stick it out in this business, and we all need this type of encouragement at one time or another to keep chugging away at it. If we didn't love the writing, we probably wouldn't grow such thick skins.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard to be tough enough, but you've got to if you want to succeed as an author.
ReplyDeleteRejections are a learning experience.
Morgan Mandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
I don't mind rejection letters. What I do mind are those form rejection letters, that don't tell me why it was rejected. It makes me feel like no one actually read what I sent them. I want to improve my writing, but if you don't tell me what I did wrong, how can I do that?
ReplyDelete