Headline Bloopers

Headlines can truly get on an editor's nerves. From the too-clever play-on-words, to the blatant mistakes, it seems as though journalists are often too pressured and rushed to get attention, and bad writing is the result. Take for instance:

Vehicle Hits Police Car En Route to Jail
Not very clear who's going to jail, is it? Not important, but it's just the tip of the iceberg in journalism today.

Consider these;

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
What?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's a little harsh, don't you think?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Pervert!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Talk about lazy - whatever happened to good old fashioned work ethic?

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Hmm - does he at least get a five second running head start?

War Dims Hope for Peace
Ya think?

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
No - no way.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Such remarkable insight.

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide !
Gee - Sherlock Holmes would be proud.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Mmm - I don't know, I think I'd feel safer with duct tape.

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
What a re-VOLTing development!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Obese people aren't large enough already?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Maybe NASA should consider a different diet for them?

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Should've been taken from The Martian Hunter's Gazette, maybe?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
So that's where magicians get their stunt recruits.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Well if they lose the lawsuit, they could probably make a lot of money in the NBA.

And get this one-

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead!
Now that's journalism at its most insightful best!
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Submitted by our resident editorial comedian, Marvin D. Wilson who wins the award for funniest post ever on this blog.

If you think you can beat any of these headlines, please leave it in the comments!