Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Fun With Words

Once again fellow toilers in the wacky world of writing, it's time for a chuckle or two to relieve some of the stress of lonely days clacking away on a keyboard. I would be lost without the comics, or "funny papers" as they used to be called. We should go back to that reference, I think. Much more descriptive, wouldn't you agree?

To start us off, here is one from the strip Crankshaft:

Crankshaft is sitting in the living room and his daughter, Pam steps up to the couch next to him. He says, "I spent $75 of my own money replacing the lottery tickets I lost."

"So, did you hit the jackpot?

"Naw… we hit the jack squat."

I found this one on One Big Happy:

Ruthie and her Grandpa are taking a walk. He notices her sour expression and asks, "What's wrong Ruthie?"

In her most dramatic Ruthie-way, she says, "Everything grandpa. I tried to make friends with ninja Kitty. To rescue her, but that dang crow ate all the Kibbles and now they're both friends."

"You mean they're in cahoots?"

"No they're still under the car."

That made you smile, didn't it? Okay, here's one is from Pearls Before Swine:

Rat and Pig and Goat are sitting at a table.  Goat is reading the paper, and he says, "I want to live in the Netherlands. Their murder rate is so low."

Pig asks, "Why is that?"

In his inimitable way, Rat says, "Bbecause it's hard to sneak up on people when you're wearing wooden shoes."

Pig nods and says, "That's so true."

Not wanting to believe what he is hearing, Goat closes his eyes and says, "No it's not."

Rat says, "Why do you think they never win the hundred meter dash?"

Granted, that is more of a groaner than laugh out loud. How about this one from Pluggers:

Plugger is sitting at a desk, writing, and he turns to his wife to ask, "Do you spell it with an E or and I?"

She says,  "It's a 'Y'". 

This is called Plugger Spellcheck

That was probably another groaner. Maybe this one from Pickles will bring a chuckle:

Nelson comes up to Opal who is busy at the kitchen counter and says, "Gramma, can I get the ladder and climb up on the roof? Grandpa said he was down with it, but I thought I should ask you too. Are you down with it?"

She turns and says, "Yes I'm a very, very down with it!!"

Nelson says, "Okay, thanks," and walks away.

Grandma says, "Wait! 'Down with it' means I totally forbid it, right?"
Posted by Maryann Miller - novelist, editor and sometimes actress. Her most recent book releases are Doubletake and Boxes For Beds, both mysteries that are available for Kindle and in paper.  Stalking Season is the second book in the Seasons Mystery Series, also now available as an e-book, along with Open Season, the first book in the series. To check her editing rates visit her website. When not working, Maryann likes to take her dog for a walk and work outside on her little ranch in East Texas. She also likes to read the funny papers.


  1. Yes, PICKLES got me. Way back when "my bad" first took hold, my oldest son (in grade school at the time) said "Oh, my bad" when I chastised him mildly for something. I was like, "Your bad what?"

    1. Good one, Suzanne. I remember those times of my kids saying something weird that would have me looking at them and thinking, "What?" It's interesting how slang words change from generation to generation. I remember a creative writer instructor saying we should be cautious in how we use slang in our stories because of how things change. I thought that was a good point.

  2. As I child, I could not wait for the Sunday "funny paper" section. Are cartoonists languishing as print dies?

    1. Diana, a lot of cartoonists are going digital and online. I'm glad the art form will not die with the printed newspaper. Although future generations will miss the fight over the funny papers every Sunday morning. LOL

  3. I have read the funnies (comics) for year's, my current favorite is Pickles, too often reminds me of -- well --- me.

    1. I hear you, Neil. I relate way too much as well. (smile)

  4. My favorite was Nelson and Opal. It's always good to laugh at least once a day.

  5. LOL! Good way to start the day! Thanks, Maryann! My husband & I love Pickles too--except it's too close to home sometimes!

  6. It's interesting how many of us relate to Pickles. I think the cartoonist has a wonderful way of capturing those subtle moments in a relationship that can be so funny with the right twist.

  7. Back in the day -- actually, wa-a-a-ay back in the day -- I read Blondie and Mary Worth. Mary Worth was more soap opera than funny, however. I also liked Snoopy. I never see the funnies now; maybe it's time for another look.

    1. Blondie and Charlie Brown - with Snoopy - are still around. Mary Worth may be, but I have not seen the strip in the paper I get in a long time. You are right about it being a soap opera.


The Blood-Red Pencil is a blog focusing on editing and writing advice. Some of our contributors are editors, some are authors, and some are writing sheep. Yes, sheep.


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