From B.C. Wiley, sitting under a tree with Clumsy Clark, is opening a box and says, "A gift from my agent."
He reads a note he finds in the box, "Some writers are appreciated even more when they have passed on from this earth."
Clumsy says, "That's sweet. What's in the box?"
Wiley opens it, "A Noose."
Oops, maybe it's a good thing not to have an agent.
Now some wacky definitions from Wiley's Dictionary.
- Perfect pitch: Best-selling roofing tar
- Counterrevolution: The invention of Formica
This one is from Peanuts: Charlie Brown has just finished writing a new story and is reading it to Snoopy. When he finishes, Snoopy shakes his hand. In the last panel Charlie Brown says, "I guess he didn't like it. That was his 'good luck, you're going to need it' handshake."
Snoopy is a tough audience.
This one from Pickles is not writing related, but it does have some fun with words: Earl is at the kitchen table, looking up at the ceiling. Nelson walks in and asks, "What are you looking at, Grampa?"
"Nothing, I was looking at a crack in the ceiling, but now I've got a crick in my neck and I'm stuck like this. From now on I'll probably have to be fed from above like a baby bird."
Nelson then goes to Opal and says, "Grampa was looking at a crack and then he got a crick."
To which Opal relies, "That's a crock."
Be sure to check out yesterday's Pickles strip for more fun with words.
A message from Non Sequitur: Moses is standing on the mountain with the stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments. People are gathered down below and one man says, "OK, enough with the hard news. Can we have the sports or comics section now?"
I'll second that motion. What about you?
Maryann Miller is a novelist, editor and sometimes actress. Her most recent release is Boxes For Beds, an historical mystery available as an e-book. Stalking Season is the second book in the Seasons Mystery Series. The first book, Open Season, is available as an e-book for all devices. To check out her editing rates visit her website. When not working, Maryann likes to take her dog for a walk and work outside on her little ranch in East Texas. Sometimes she plays on stage, but she does avoid computer games as much as possible.