It's the first Wednesday of the month, so we are taking time out for a little bit of fun. Enjoy!
This first vocabulary lesson is from the strip Sherman's Lagoon:
Sherman says to Filmore, "I hear there's a Lagoon creative writing contest."
Filmore: "Yesiree! A short story contest to boot. This is where I shine."
Sherman: "Hey, Maybe I'll try my hand at writing one as well."
Filmore: "It will be futile."
Sherman: "Thanks, I hope yours is futile, too."
Filmore: "You know, a lot of writers start with a dictionary."
Make sure you say what you mean, from the strip Pickles.
Earl asks, "Opal, what's the matter."
Opal: "Oh, nothing."
So Earl walks away, "That's good."
Opal gives him that look she is so good at, "You know very well that 'oh, nothing' does not mean "oh, nothing."
This next one has nothing to do with writing, but how many times have you felt this way?
In the Blondie strip, Dagwood is on the phone trying to get help with a problem with his computer. The customer service rep says, "Yes this is customer support, but I'm afraid I can't solve your online problem."
Dagwood: "Then what should I do?"
Rep: "You could probably take it to a computer expert's shop in your area."
Dagwood: "Suppose there is no computer expert's shop in my area?"
Rep: "Well. Don't you have any kids in your neighborhood?"
This is from Mother Goose and Grimm. It, too, has nothing to do with writing, but it made me smile while I was groaning.
Ralph and Grimmy are sitting next to a pretty young poodle at obedience school. Grimmy says, "Whoa, Ralph, look who you're sitting next to. She's the new foreign exchange student here at school. You should go ask her out."
Ralph: "Me? But what do I say to a foreign student?"
Grimmy: "You'll think of something. Go on. Go on."
So Ralph goes over and says, "180 degrees longitude."
Pretty poodle has a big question mark above her head.
Grimmy asks, "What was that?"
Ralph: "The International date line."
Maryann Miller is a novelist, editor and sometimes actress. To check out her editing rates visit her website. When not working, Maryann likes to take her dog for a walk and work outside on her little ranch in East Texas. She also likes to read the funny papers. That's much more fun than reading the hard news.