Are you ready? Really ready? Here's a checklist to help your writing day go swimmingly.
10. Disconnect your computer from the internet.
NO! Not now! Wait until you've finished reading this post! And maybe a few other blogs...and checked your email...and...
9. Know the location of the sugary snacks.
Check to make sure they're still there. Knowledge is power.
8. Have a vague idea of what you're going to write.
This is no guarantee that you will write what you expect.
7. Wander around the room flexing your fingers and muttering encouragement.
The yelp you just heard was caused by, in your daze of self-glorification, your treading upon your pet's tail. Crouch down, apologise and try to ignore the thump of pet-guilt that just wrapped its legs around your shoulders.
6. Go get a sugary snack.
Wash your hands afterwards. Chocolate fingerprints tend to make seeing the letters on your keyboard a challenge.
5. Ignore the baleful stare emanating from your pet.
Really try. It's harder than you'd think. Try not to feel the laser beams penetrating the back of your neck.
4. If you're working on a first draft do not go back and reread everything you've written before you start today's writing.
This is a no-win scenario. You like it and you've lost an hour to imagining which yummy movie stars are going to be clamouring to play your characters and starting to compose your acceptance speeches for both the Booker and the Oscar. You don't like it and the temptation to just stop writing and pursue that career as a welder may become overwhelming.
3. Is there a dragon or other cuddly monster in your manuscript?
Your main character noticing a poster with one on it as he/she is walking past a bookstore counts.
2. Add one scene where someone smells the worst smell they've ever experienced.
This situation can end in horror or humour. You decide.
1. Realize your trod-upon pet is now devouring the sugary treats.
You can't write now - you have to go to the store.
Elspeth Antonelli is an author and playwright. Her twelve murder mystery games and two plays are available through host-party.com. She has also contributed articles to the European writers' magazine "Elias". Her blog, "It's A Mystery," explores the writing process with a touch of humor. She is on Twitter as @elspethwrites.