|Illustration by R. Crap Mariner, via Flickr|
If your answer was no, please let me know how you’re reading this.
Who made your breakfast? If the someone was human: NON FICTION. If the someone was a house elf or woodland creature: FICTION.
Note: If your situation is the latter; when was the last time you gave them a pay raise? Just a soupçon of non-fiction in your fictional life.
You dragged yourself to the computer and are sitting there now with a large mug of coffee/tea, reading this post because you are procrastinating: NON FICTION. You danced to your computer and are reading this post before noon because 5,000 words have already flowed onto your keyboard and you’re taking a wee break before you spew out another 5,000 before creating a gourmet meal with organic vegetables from your garden: FICTION.
Your pet sits at your feet/on your lap/on your keyboard demanding attention: NON-FICTION. Your pet is dictating his/her autobiography: FICTION.
Note: I want to meet your pet.
Your next great idea begins flamenco-ing in your imagination before you’re finished with your current WIP: NON FICTION. You ignore it because you are the master of writerly discipline: FICTION.
In all your years of writing/reading you have encountered many plot holes in other people’s books. NON FICTION. In all your years of writing/reading you have never once encountered a plot hole in your own writing. FICTION.
The book in your head is far, far better than the book which appears on paper: NON FICTION. Your current manuscript is turning out exactly as you thought it would: FICTION.
You have lost count of the number of drafts you write before submitting your manuscript to beta readers/your editor: NON FICTION. Your first draft is your only draft, because you are like Mozart whose original manuscripts didn't contain scratched out notes: FICTION.
The empty white page mocks you: NON FICTION.
You will fill it: NON FICTION.
With ease: FICTION.
|Elspeth Futcher is a bestselling author of murder mystery games and playwright. She has been the top selling author at host-party.com since 2011. Her British games are published by Red Herring Games in the UK. Elspeth's 'writing sheep' are a continuing feature in the European writers' magazine Elias and also appear on this blog from time to time. Connect with her on Twitter at @elspethwrites or on Facebook at Elspeth Futcher, Author.|