Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Time Out For a Little Fun

The ability to tell a good story can come in handy for more than publication. Just take it from my friend, Tracy Farr.

Life has a way of making perfect sense until you wake up and find you are 20 minutes late for work and there's no way on Earth you're going to tell the boss you overslept, so you come up with some ridiculous lie about how you came upon a nasty accident, and since you were the only one around who knew the number to 911, you were obligated to stay and render whatever aid you could give, to the best of your ability.

The horrific wreck, which was 20 miles south of the Middle of Nowhere, was burning when you came upon it, bodies were strewn across the county road like dropped matchsticks, and the smell of gas fumes meant an explosion was imminent.

With only moments to spare, you moved the helpless victims away from the wreckage, beat the fire down with your jacket, performed CPR on three victims at the same time, set the broken leg of a middle-aged woman who kept screaming she was going to die, and sang a lullaby to soothe a scared little toddler who seemed to be the only person not hurt in all the carnage.

Exactly eight minutes later, the ambulances started to arrive and you, not wanting to be known or recognized as a hero, quietly snuck away just like Batman, but without the utility belt.

"Sure I was late, so fire me," you tell the boss as you head to the men's room to comb your hair. You slam the door shut just for effect.

The boss, stunned at your boldness, stares at the place where you were just standing and contemplates early retirement.
Tracy Farr is a teacher living in East Texas who enjoys writing funny stuff and playing a banjo. You can get a free copy of his e-book Never Trust a Goat HERE -Visit his Website HERE
Posted by Maryann Miller, who also has goats she does not trust. She also has books that she does trust. For information about her books and her editing services visit her website.

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  1. Don't you think this story would be more real if you mentioned burning flesh? :)

  2. Oh, ick, Dani. It's supposed to be funny. LOL

  3. That is much more fanciful than the excuse I used to use: I chose Grape Nuts for breakfast. They take longer to chew. ;)

  4. LOL, Katherine. That's a good one. Never thought of that. Of course, I never thought of the great rescue excuse either.

  5. Funny! Sounds like the beginning of a great book!

    Morgan Mandel

  6. Just what I needed for a dull thursday.

  7. Great lie for the next time you're late for work! I just went over to Tracy's blog - the poetry is great fun!

  8. Um, I used to blame the dog a lot. "Got out of the yard and I had to go after her." "Got sick just as I was leaving and I had to clean the carpet so it wouldn't stain." "Wouldn't finish her 'business' so I could bring her inside before leaving."

    Of course, sometimes all these were true. Sometimes...not.


The Blood-Red Pencil is a blog focusing on editing and writing advice. Some of our contributors are editors, some are authors, and some are writing sheep. Yes, sheep.


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