Family, Hugs, and The Artist's Way

We are made of strong stuff. We will endure.

Those are strong, hopeful statements that I hang on to as I'm navigating the current situation with COVID19 and the stay-at-home practices that I need to be very mindful of. I'm in two of those high-risk categories; age and underlying health conditions, so I'm aware of how important it is to stay away from people. This has included avoiding my family, which is the hardest part of all.

I love my animals, but living alone can be, well, very lonely.

To keep me away from grocery stores, my kids do most of my shopping, and they come occasionally to do a chore that I can't do. Well, actually, I could, but the kids don't want me climbing up a ladder to change furnace filters.  But while they are here, we stay six-feet apart. We don't hug.

We're such a demonstrative, hugging family that it feels extremely weird for any of my kids to walk back out the door, and we haven't even touched. Human touch is so important. Research has shown the many ways we benefit from touch, from hugs.

An article in Nuro Nation had this to say, "Humans suffer from social isolation but react positively to physical contact. This has to do with the fact that when we hug someone, a hormone called Oxytocin is released in our body, which effectively reduces our stress levels. Additionally, our blood pressure sinks and we experience less anxiety during a hug."

My primary care doctor normally ends each visit with what she calls, a heart-to-heart hug; it's the opposite of the way people usually hug. It started because the right side of my face and head is so sensitive - thanks to Trigeminal Neuralgia - so I always offer the left side. Then my doctor said it was better that way, so our hearts touch. I love her!

Another way the nasty pandemic has seriously upended my life is the fact that I couldn't complete some classes that I was taking at the local community college. Those classes were focused on studying literature and film, and in the previous two semesters of the program, I'd enjoyed expanding my reading and viewing tastes.

In The Artist's Way Julia Cameron encourages us to take a break from our daily routine of writing and have what she called an Artist Date,  "a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you. The Artist Date need not be overtly “artistic” — think mischief ." I remember when I first found that piece of her advice, I took it very seriously, and I would once a week take myself to go see a movie, or maybe play at a park. Often, I would return home invigorated and spend some very productive hours in my office.

Those classes at the college were my Artist Dates, and I miss them.

Before the pandemic hit, I'd been cutting back on my time on social media so I could get more writing done. Now I'm on Twitter and Facebook much more often during the day. I've made quite a few new friends on Twitter and find Tweets that make me laugh. Some that make me cry. And some that make me want to boil over in anger. Those I try to scroll past quickly.

If I can't get a hug, at least I need a laugh now and then. 

Writing is slow going, even though I have more time to write. Partially because of an uptick in the pain from Trigeminal Neuralgia, which is relentless, and partially because even though I'm an introvert, I do miss interacting with other people, and my creative energy lags. Social media is fine, but...

So what are some coping skills you use? Are you familiar with the Artist Date? Did you take yourself out on a regular basis? While you're here, check out some of the other posts by the BRP team, as we share an ongoing journal of coping with the pandemic.

Posted by Maryann Miller  Still maintaining social distancing, you can find out more about Maryann, her books, and her editing services on her Website and her Amazon Author Page, read her Blog, and follow her on Facebook and Twitter. Her online workshop on self-editing, part of a series of online writing workshops from Short And Helpful, can be found HERE