Deep Point of View - Part Two

As I discussed in Part 1 of this topic, Deep Point of View, or How to Avoid Head-Hopping, in order to draw the reader in and grab her emotionally, every story needs to have a clearly dominant viewpoint character. We should meet that character right away, preferably in the first paragraph, and the first scene or chapter should be entirely from that character's point of view so the reader can start bonding with him or her.

But how do we as authors go about this? Suppose you’re writing a story about a macho  guy named Kurt, who defeats the villain, restores justice, and even gets the girl. It’s Kurt’s story so he’s your main viewpoint character. How do you make sure that your handling of his viewpoint is as powerful as it can possibly be?

The first thing to do is imagine the setting, people, and events as they would be perceived by Kurt, and only by him. As you write the story, you the writer must become Kurt. You see what he sees and nothing more. You know what he knows and nothing more. When Kurt walks into a bar, for example, you do not imagine how the bar looks from some god-like authorial stance high above, or as a movie camera might see it; you see it only as Kurt sees it, walking in and looking around.

And of course include his reactions to the other people in the bar. Show Kurt’s feelings about what and who he’s seeing, and his reactions to the situation. Instead of writing, “The bar was noisy, dark and smoky,” write “The cigarette smoke in the air stung Kurt’s eyes and, in the dim light, he couldn’t make out if his target was there. As he looked around, the room started to quieten down. Heads turned, and eyes took him in, some curious, some hostile.”

This way, the reader is seeing the scene through Kurt’s eyes and identifying with him, starting to worry about him. This from-the-inside-out approach is vital if you want your reader to care about your protagonist and get truly engaged in the story.

But you need to go even further – you need to describe what he’s seeing and feeling by using words and expressions that he would normally use. If your character is a rancher or a drifter or a hard-boiled P.I, you’re not going to describe the scene or his reactions in highly educated, articulate, flowery terms, or tell about things he probably wouldn’t notice, like the color-coordination of the décor, the chandeliers, or the arrangement of dried flowers in an urn on the floor.

It’s also important to be vigilant that your viewpoint doesn’t slip, so you’re suddenly giving someone else’s opinion about Kurt, or telling about something that’s happening out in the street or even in a hidden corner of the bar, while Kurt is still at the entrance of the bar. You can let the reader know other people’s reactions to Kurt, not by going into their heads at this point, but by what Kurt perceives—he sees their disapproving, admiring, angry, curious, or intense looks, picks up on their body language, hears their words and tone of voice, etc.

Then, in a later scene or chapter, you can go into the villian's point of view and find out what he thinks of Kurt. Or, once he meets the girl, write a scene or chapter in her viewpoint so the reader finds out more about her and what she thinks of our hero Kurt.

This technique, properly used, will suck your readers effectively into your story world, where they really want to be, engaged, involved, and connected.

In part 3, I’ll discuss some practical tips for noticing when you’re head-hopping (ping-ponging from one viewpoint to another) and how to stay in one point of view at a time.

Links: Point of View from My Point of View       Writing to Sell: POV        Perception is Part of Point of View     Training Our Inner Editor, Part 3a: Point of View      Deep POV: Three mistakes and how to fix them, Part II       Deep Point of View, or How to Avoid Head-Hopping    

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Guest blogger Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction manuscript editor, specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries, romance, YA, and historical fiction. Jodie’s services range from developmental and substantive editing to light final copy editing and proofreading, as well as manuscript critiques. Check out Jodie’s website at http://www.jodierennerediting.com/ and her blog, dedicated to advice and resources for fiction writers, at http://jodierennerediting.blogspot.com/.

Posted by Maryann Miller who is always happy to be reminded about whose head she should be in.