The Query Letter: Making the Pitch

I researched the query requests for many agents and here is what most would like to have. The caveat being: always do your research. If an agent asks for something different, follow their instructions to a tee to prove you will be easy to work with. If you look difficult to deal with in any way, it doesn't matter how good your pitch is. The agent or editor may never see it.

And, no, you don't need to worry about theft. They aren't writers. Your work is already copyrighted as you write it. You could given ten people the same story idea and end up with ten very different novels. You cannot copyright an idea.

Subject line: Query, Agent Name, Genre

1. What is your product?

The Pitch (or hook) is a concise statement that sums up the essential nature of your book. This concise statement is usually achieved in one or two sentences, and it gives your audience a sense of what the book is about and why they should get excited about it. Stick with your protagonist's goal, problem, and antagonistic force. 

The protagonist encounters a problem which forces them to do something, the opposition is, or else (aka stakes).

You should be able to fit that in a short paragraph. Don't throw in subplots or secondary characters. If you have a story that follows two or three threads you can make one sentence about each thread. But don't throw in secondary characters no matter how cool you think they are. No matter how massive your plot is, you should be able to get it down to one sentence.

Example: Game of Thrones by George R R Martin, a massive Fantasy with complex threads becomes : "In this sword and sorcery fantasy saga, four noble families across the realm of Westeros compete for control of the Iron Throne.

Example: Four Weddings and A Funeral, a movie with a complex cast and multiple love stories becomes: In modern day London, over the course of five social occasions, a committed bachelor must wrestle with the notion that he may finally have discovered love.

Example: Pulp Fiction, a film with complex interwoven story lines becomes: In modern day LA, the lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster's wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption.

2. Why should we pick up this project?

Marketability: After a compelling pitch, many successful queries offer up a paragraph or three of evidence that supports that your book project is worthwhile, has an audience, and is worth their time. If your pitch doesn't already include it, then this is a good place to include your book's category (or genre) and word count. - Who will it appeal to? What is the market for it? Why is it a book for right now? This is where to put the comparisons to other works if they want them. For example: Little House on the Prairie meets Alien, a science fiction take on the prairie Western much like the movie Cowboys and Aliens. I made that up. Feel free to use it. If Pride and Prejudice can have Zombies, why not?

Each agent is slightly different. Research them and their agency. Search for "agent's name + query" and find their preferences if available. Why is your book a good fit? Always look at the agency's website and the agent's social media, including #MSWishlist, Twitter, etc. What do they love? What do they hate? What have they sold? Agencies are not created equal. You have small boutique agencies and massive commercial agencies. Who can do the most for you? Are they accepting your product right now?

If they are not a fan of your genre, don't waste your time. Look at their client list and what they have sold. How successful is this agent or editor? Have they actually placed projects with the Big Five publishers? Have they placed projects similar to yours? Are they a successful agency or one lone person who has set out on their own but has not achieved success? Don't waste your time on people without a proven record. They may still have connections, but that may not translate into sales to the big publishing houses. Not all agents or agencies are equal.

3. Can you do the job?

The About You section is a concise statement sharing why you are the perfect person to write this book. It could be that you have personal or professional experience that lines up with the subject of your book. It could be that you have good sales in the genre or an incredible author platform from a blog or YouTube channel. If you are a first time author, that is okay too. This is where your inspiration and reason for writing the book goes. Maybe you really love the genre and want to add your voice. They need to know you can promote your work and are willing to do what it takes to market it. This is where a social media presence helps. They will expect you to have one to market yourself. This is perhaps the hardest challenge for writers. It is one thing to make the widget. It is another thing entirely to see your book baby as a product that must be sold and you must be the one to do the selling. It is a different set of skills. Can you do it? Are you willing to do it? Make them believe it.

This can all fit on one page. Then sign off with something along the lines of thank you for your consideration and "attached" or "included below" and insert or attach anything they ask for.

4. Contact information including a phone number, email, your website or blog if you have one, and social media links. You would be amazed at how many people forget this part. Don't expect them to search for you or go through your website to contact you. Give them your email and phone number (even if it is on the do not contact list or private). Cell phone is best in case they wish to text you. List your social media addresses for Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linked-In, etc. List your Amazon page if you have one. Good Reads, too.

If you still feel unsure, turn to your favorite search engine and look up books that are comparable to yours. Look for "subgenre + Query letter" or "subgenre queries that sold". It is well worth your time. 

A quick word about atypical pitches. You might think it is fun to be kooky or outlandish or write in your character's voice. Don't. I am not saying an atypical pitch has never worked, but why risk it? Atypical pitches are best left to writer's conferences or pitch events or in-person meetings.

You can read about my newbie mistake here:

Rookie Mistakes

Continue reading:

Pitching to Agents, How to Throw an Action Fast Ball

Ask the Editor: Pitches

Diana Hurwitz is the author of Story Building Blocks: The Four Layers of Conflict, Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict, Story Building Blocks III: The Revision Layers, and the YA adventure series Mythikas Island. Her weekly blog, Game On: Crafting Believable Conflict explores how characters behave and misbehave. Visit DianaHurwitz.com for more information and free writing tools. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.