tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post8049994831117871549..comments2024-03-28T01:44:27.279-06:00Comments on Blood-Red Pencil: Sex and Writing Romance NovelsDanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-7797606125416811752015-11-24T15:53:20.081-07:002015-11-24T15:53:20.081-07:00Nothing. What's wrong with hot sex with someon...Nothing. What's wrong with hot sex with someone you just like and respect? Maybe nothing. But in today's world, and what I think about a lot as a writer, is how much reality we should add - about health issues, for example. Nobody needs to become a disease vector engaging in casual sex. It's a tough topic to address these days. Victorian sex was so much less complicated! LOL.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-66460856551951098112014-02-28T06:14:06.883-07:002014-02-28T06:14:06.883-07:00I write romance, with pretty graphic sex scenes. T...I write romance, with pretty graphic sex scenes. The novels are contemporary and deal with plenty of big issues but the characters are in college and like sex. I struggle with this all the time. Should I take the sex out? Should I leave it as detailed and, honestly, vulgar as it is at times? My biggest argument for it is that I was twenty once. Most of the girls I knew were into dirty talk and somewhat raunchy sex, but they were into it with their boyfriends. That's a part of the exploration for me. The good girl who's not so good in a loving relationship. On the other hand, there's a difference between exploring sexuality in a relationship and degrading women and love. I want to write about people who can balance being in love with being dirty, without making the story about degradation or forced sex. There is too much of that in romance these days. I guess I feel like the options tend toward explicit rape or off camera sex. What's wrong with hot sex with someone you love and who loves you in return?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-26673333578272111542014-02-02T11:58:00.252-07:002014-02-02T11:58:00.252-07:00And we'll be dealing with exactly that in our ...And we'll be dealing with exactly that in our Monday post, Harriet! I so totally agree with you. We'll cover a few other aspects of this topic between now and Valentine's Day. Thanks for your comments, everyone.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-82993403605942243612014-02-01T17:11:14.799-07:002014-02-01T17:11:14.799-07:00I write romantic suspense and want to add somethin...I write romantic suspense and want to add something that hasn't been discussed yet. Sex, and the way characters approach it, is another way of adding depth to them as people. Characterization deals with many aspects of personality and sex is definitely part of that. To ignore a character's sexuality is to paint an incomplete portrait. Harriet Schultzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07662151999241938524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-23237179885101650132014-02-01T07:13:21.570-07:002014-02-01T07:13:21.570-07:00An interesting post that I enjoyed reading.
Thank...An interesting post that I enjoyed reading.<br /><br />Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.WordsPoeticallyWorthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05932809387878012226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-77303661882121546982014-01-31T17:28:35.844-07:002014-01-31T17:28:35.844-07:00I'm guessing everyone's experience is a bi...I'm guessing everyone's experience is a bit different, so the "knowing" will be too. I think the music analogy is aptly applied to love and sex - many different kinds of experience and preference. Even a country girl can jazz it up!Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-83469804847878381072014-01-31T15:52:23.685-07:002014-01-31T15:52:23.685-07:00Dani, unleashed! To each her/his own. I'm for...Dani, unleashed! To each her/his own. I'm for the behind closed doors approach. I already know what happens and don't need it spelled out. lol<br />Morgan Mandelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10118929301591850918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-19863014812087534172014-01-31T13:56:20.736-07:002014-01-31T13:56:20.736-07:00My most popular blog post is this one and I'm ...My most popular blog post is this one and I'm sure it's simply because the word sex is in the title: http://www.randyattwood.blogspot.com/2013/02/sex-matters-erotic-excerpts-from-five.htmlAttwood Collected Workshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12939221864173785283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-46395235179234556012014-01-31T13:27:27.557-07:002014-01-31T13:27:27.557-07:00So true, Laurie! Lovemaking is constant, with the ...So true, Laurie! Lovemaking is constant, with the act itself lasting 5-6 minutes - or 3-4 if you're an Englishman. ;) It's the ongoing interaction between characters and all their senses that is most important. And I think that's where dysfunction occurs as well, and where love begins to diminish. When the quiet looks and touches outside of the bed (or wherever) become less frequent. So important to write that into the novel as well as into a life!<br />Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-64717136262695036892014-01-31T12:59:36.222-07:002014-01-31T12:59:36.222-07:00When it comes to romance and sex in fiction, I fin...When it comes to romance and sex in fiction, I find I enjoy it more when the writer leaves a lot to the imagination. We all have our own unique ideas of what is or is not romantic or sexy. That's all very personal, and so when the author leaves certain details out, I think the reader fills those gaps with her or her own fantasies.James Paillyhttp://planetpailly.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-35727431648660876512014-01-31T12:52:31.472-07:002014-01-31T12:52:31.472-07:00For me also. That is more intimate than I need to ...For me also. That is more intimate than I need to interact with a stranger. I get that people have sex. I appreciate passion, but when it comes down to choreography and nuts and bolts of how they have sex, that is TMI.Diana Hurwitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18216220574149672733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-91474964160291907692014-01-31T12:00:29.675-07:002014-01-31T12:00:29.675-07:00Interesting post, Dani, and love all this commenta...Interesting post, Dani, and love all this commentary. I write in a range of genres with romantic undertones (not specifically "romance"), and I feel like I need to stay true to my characters. So I'm fairly comfortable writing what the story calls for. Sometimes it's a kiss and close the door. Sometimes we see more. Although I've always thought that more interesting than the sex act is what leads up to the moment and what happens afterward. There is good potential for character development.Laurie Borishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08361627047571650547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-41115122752535353872014-01-31T11:46:15.499-07:002014-01-31T11:46:15.499-07:00I'm the tart here. I write sex. I've writt...I'm the tart here. I write sex. I've written three erotica romances that were published by erotic romance epublishers, two of the best, in my opinion. Note the word "romance." That, by genre definition, has an ending where the male and female wind up together, in love. Those are written under a pseudonym. My romantic suspense novels also have sex, some more, some less, but every relationship ends on a positive note. I will not write anything demeaning toward women, but I did write one where there was a double story, 1910 and present day, that shifted back and forth with a BDSM element. The characters were also mid forties. There was a lesson in one story and a lot of fun in the other. <br /><br />Writing or not writing sex should be something the author is comfortable doing. Nothing should be forced, and the situations should be natural. I also think there should be a story, something many erotic novels give short shrift to if favor of sex for sex sake. My erotic romances have the same multiple storylines my suspense novels do. THEY ARE MUCH HARDER TO WRITE, which is why there will be only one more. Polly Iyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05729656119287702191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-38899689659696331502014-01-31T11:39:21.336-07:002014-01-31T11:39:21.336-07:00I also write romantic suspense and mystery. The bi...I also write romantic suspense and mystery. The biggest difference when I'm writing is that the sex is on the page in the romantic suspense, but not in the mysteries. However, I contend I write love scenes, not sex scenes.Terry Odellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610682530545306687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-17435834418130392662014-01-31T11:29:51.856-07:002014-01-31T11:29:51.856-07:00I know back in my theatre days, during the weeks o...I know back in my theatre days, during the weeks of rehearsal I was exhausted by the time I returned home. Different story completely once the performance run started! Oh, that adrenaline...it doesn't fizzle for some time after the curtain falls. (for me, anyway)Elspeth Futcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10330102545384369360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-9094293246316994832014-01-31T11:29:32.678-07:002014-01-31T11:29:32.678-07:00Maryann, a great love scene is a work of art. Sex ...Maryann, a great love scene is a work of art. Sex scenes appeal to baser instincts that fall far short of anything artistic in my opinion. I'll be interested in reading your take on that topic.Linda Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16056682992943171805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-42120446004648945322014-01-31T11:23:06.257-07:002014-01-31T11:23:06.257-07:00Exactly, Maryann, it's an invasion of privacy....Exactly, Maryann, it's an invasion of privacy. I never want to feel like a peeping Tom when I read a book (or any other time), which is why I quit reading Nora Roberts several years ago.Linda Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16056682992943171805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-84685626750731034052014-01-31T11:21:22.948-07:002014-01-31T11:21:22.948-07:00I'm with you on this, Maryann!I'm with you on this, Maryann!Heidiwriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02593338979995203659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-76598166733497526812014-01-31T11:11:38.288-07:002014-01-31T11:11:38.288-07:00Oh, gee... minor details, Elspeth. LOL. I seem to ...Oh, gee... minor details, Elspeth. LOL. I seem to be quite comfortable with body parts and that's an interesting insight, and not something I ever really thought about, I guess. But I'm also learning a lot, if you recall our conversations on Nag Sisters. You know, the sexual energy is so fundamentally linked to creativity - that's something we should write about. From my own experiences, when I'm deep into a creative project, my sex drive diminishes. My husband is even worse. I think many artists are like this. We might want to write about that in a future post.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-37616779722339158362014-01-31T10:46:31.282-07:002014-01-31T10:46:31.282-07:00This post has truly gotten me thinking, Dani. Is i...This post has truly gotten me thinking, Dani. Is it possible, perhaps, that as writers, we need to be comfortable with our sexuality and all it entails before we can write about our characters'? Elspeth Futcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10330102545384369360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-11667323163646234892014-01-31T10:25:44.163-07:002014-01-31T10:25:44.163-07:00I have to mention that, as writers, we wield a hug...I have to mention that, as writers, we wield a huge amount of influence over the public with what we present to them. I find more and more in my writing, that I challenge the sexual mores I grew up with. The sixties challenged us to think outside of that off-balance Puritan structure that Maryann mentioned, but the dive to the opposite extreme was decidedly dark... and I don't believe we've reached a balance point again. I think about that a lot as I'm writing. Love the comments so far. Don't stop. More! ;)Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-23060839079578384742014-01-31T10:21:08.474-07:002014-01-31T10:21:08.474-07:00Oh, Christopher. I can well imagine you laughing t...Oh, Christopher. I can well imagine you laughing through everything including a hot date. Bless your sweet soul. I hope your wife appreciates your unique gifts!Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-1033397967205476582014-01-31T10:19:14.802-07:002014-01-31T10:19:14.802-07:00Hi, Dani interesting blogpost. I write romantic s...Hi, Dani interesting blogpost. I write romantic suspense and mystery, and I'm torn on this topic. I think it depends on the book, the pacing and how the author sets it up. As you state, your protagonist is fixated on a character, so you incorporate motivation into your novella.<br /><br />My thinking is when a sex scene is thrown in when the author has not set it up becomes gratuitous. You cite good examples defining erotica and pornography. <br /><br />As a victims advocate I have a hard time with books that degrade women and call that erotica. I've seen the real thing and it's anything but. Thanks for the interesting topic.Donnell Ann Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07943037206984648849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-76425311115338409902014-01-31T09:38:47.858-07:002014-01-31T09:38:47.858-07:00I'm not comfortable with writing it either, Ch...I'm not comfortable with writing it either, Christopher, although I have had love scenes in a few of my books. When it is my turn to blog on this theme this month, I may explore that dichotomy a bit. Maybe it will be helpful to other writers who are not comfortable with writing sex scenes.Maryannwriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09479027709233807149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-85751290742399665802014-01-31T09:36:16.633-07:002014-01-31T09:36:16.633-07:00You are not alone in not wanting to read erotica o...You are not alone in not wanting to read erotica or really steamy romance. When friends first introduced me to romance novels in the late 70s, I read some but I always had a sense of voyeurism while reading. I did enjoy some of the historical romances, for the stories and the history, but I would skip the sex scenes. I don't want to watch my neighbors having sex, so I really don't want to see characters on screen or in books having sex. To me that is a private thing between the couple involved.Maryannwriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09479027709233807149noreply@blogger.com