tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post3702095037453651683..comments2024-03-28T10:41:26.999-06:00Comments on Blood-Red Pencil: Ask the Editor: Internal MonologueDanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-3892074636139342642011-11-05T20:10:00.301-06:002011-11-05T20:10:00.301-06:00Clearly and simply stated.
TxClearly and simply stated. <br /><br />TxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-11151674871315678912009-02-13T14:28:00.000-07:002009-02-13T14:28:00.000-07:00What JDS and Dani said about books written in firs...What JDS and Dani said about books written in first-person is right. Internal dialogue, or as I like to call it, mental comments, are handled differently. My advice in the original post was for stories written in third person. <BR/><BR/>In first person narratives, I don't think the mental comment needs any distinctive punctuation or format. Robert B. Parker does it well for his characters by having the comment be a separate line. It's pretty clear what it is. <BR/><BR/>But again, this can vary from publisher to publisher. Sigh....Maryannwriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09479027709233807149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-72687753607098523322009-02-13T10:30:00.000-07:002009-02-13T10:30:00.000-07:00The last comment is a very good point. I just read...The last comment is a very good point. I just read a first-person POV novel that used internal commentary in quotes, and had exactly the same impression. If you're already talking to the reader in first-person, the italics seem completely redundant. Only in a few cases did the italicized comment create any feeling of extra emphasis. Mostly it just seemed like a font gone mad.<BR/><BR/>Dani<BR/>http://blogbooktours.blogspot.comDanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-17871183656680625752009-02-12T21:15:00.000-07:002009-02-12T21:15:00.000-07:00In a first-person narrative, isn't the whole a kin...In a first-person narrative, isn't the whole a kind of monologue? How could I separate thoughts from the rest of the story?Joshua Scheerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03327580698736503954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-42477876660755824522009-02-12T21:09:00.000-07:002009-02-12T21:09:00.000-07:00For me, as a reader/editor, the switch from third ...For me, as a reader/editor, the switch from third person to first person with direct use of "I" for internal dialogue is jarring. So as a writer, I avoid that construction.L.J. Sellershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10213491074676394406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-48014713108284608162009-02-12T14:07:00.000-07:002009-02-12T14:07:00.000-07:00In terms of how I posed the example, Shelley is ri...In terms of how I posed the example, Shelley is right. "This is really creepy" should have been in italics.<BR/><BR/>Before writing this post, I did a search for articles on this topic and found several that weren't always in total agreement. The best thing to do is follow the instructions of the publisher. :-) My last editor at Five Star had me put all internal dialogue in italics, but stream of consciousness was not.Maryannwriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09479027709233807149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-1671880120278268862009-02-12T12:53:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:53:00.000-07:00Interesting discussion, especially as I am working...Interesting discussion, especially as I am working with a literary writer who has a question about running narrative or you might say journal style internal monologue. I know there is no 'right' way to do it but merely what works. Some great popular fiction writers such as P.D. James have pages of narrative, and sometimes internal monologue very well done. I wonder about this in my own writing as well. <BR/>Lynn romaine (www.ecosuspense.blogspot.com)Infogypsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15598764569161683076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-70658866641218236032009-02-12T12:47:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:47:00.000-07:00True, the lines do get blurred. That's whatmakes i...True, the lines do get blurred. That's what<BR/>makes it confusing at times.<BR/>Morgan Mandel<BR/>http://morganmandel.blogspot.comMorgan Mandelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10118929301591850918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-69920981669732258802009-02-12T12:40:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:40:00.000-07:00I would tend toward both parts of that example bei...I would tend toward both parts of that example being in italics without the 'she thought'. If I'm telling the story (chapter, etc.) from her point of view already, then I'd describe how it felt creepy. If I felt the need to say, This is creepy, I'd categorize that as internal dialogue.<BR/><BR/>http://www.jebraun.comJohn Braun, CSP, CHSThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17657194136995034700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-80826545992244594682009-02-12T12:36:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:36:00.000-07:00As always, I think it depends on the story. I pers...As always, I think it depends on the story. I personally don't like italics.<BR/><BR/>Great post.<BR/><BR/>Rebecca<BR/>www.pursueyourwritingdream.comRebecca Talleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01969923131001170254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-12815653285160581762009-02-12T12:34:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:34:00.000-07:00I totally agree. My feeling is the narrative is th...I totally agree. My feeling is the narrative is the POV characters thoughts, feelings etc., you neither need the she said or italics.<BR/><BR/>Having said this, I know plenty of folks fell differently.<BR/><BR/>a.k.a. Marilyn <BR/>http://fictionforyou.comMarilyn Meredith a.k.a. F. M. Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04179984154939161530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-69308446374666437712009-02-12T12:29:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:29:00.000-07:00Exactly my thought, Shelley. I take out the tags i...Exactly my thought, Shelley. I take out the tags if the thought is in italics. But I read an awful lot of novels with both, so editors clearly disagree, or do what they bloody well please.<BR/><BR/>I am concerned about my internal *dialogues* though. Sigh. Should I use different fonts? LOL.<BR/><BR/>Dani<BR/>http://blogbooktours.blogspot.comDanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471919576687777886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5704943052235281766.post-78705772816558733332009-02-12T12:11:00.000-07:002009-02-12T12:11:00.000-07:00Good article on a troublesome subject, Maryann.One...Good article on a troublesome subject, Maryann.<BR/><BR/>One question. In both the original example and your revision, "This is really creepy" is not italicized. The addition of "she thought" in the original makes italics unnecessary, but should you italicize the sentence in your revision since it's written in present tense? Just want to make sure I understand.<BR/><BR/>ShelleyShelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04605196832676173145noreply@blogger.com